150% success in hostage negotiation or your money back!
See what skills you can learn to optimize conversion rates, and ways to improve.
Take our free online test
Sometimes loved ones are irretrievable. That's where biogenerative AI really shines.
Discover emotional invincibility
We pioneered the best practices to cause hallucinations in enemies and show you how!
Read our A/B test results
Hear from billions of lives we've helped!
Quack quack! This is a responsive CSS grid. Nothing says made with love like static file serving. Did you like this content? Like and subscribe.
I deliver ice cream between different star systems. I've never felt safer. With the award-winning enterprise suite of apps, I can log, monitor, and respond to threats in my ice cream supply chain. My time to delivery has never been so fast!
Came just in time to rescue me from the Romans. Am grateful. The other timelines weren't so fortunate however.
Hey pay attention! I've been unwashed, lying on the kitchen counter for days. Helllloooo? Hello?
AWM does the absolute best job! Hire them to deploy your node.js code, mentor your other engineers, and make sure to ask about their "secret alien technology." React? Databases and pipelines and such? Yeah they can do that too.
Eh, they do their best.
The mercenaries handle microservice architecture with care. Websockets and XMPP, Webhooks, API, GraphQL, SQL, MySQL, SQLServer, SSTables, B-Trees, message-busses, Kafka, RabbitMQ, technobabble, monolithic decomposition, muKanren, Fenwick topology (this isn't a thing); AWS ECS, SQS, Redshift, DynamoDB, Lamda, serverless architecture, Route 53, SSL; Vertica, Cassandra, ParAccel, Presto, Apache Spark, Hadoop, BigTable, HTTP 2, TCP/IP, Layer 3, Layer 4, Docker, nix, nixOS, Ruby on Rails, Express.js, Vue.js, Next.js, MERN, MEAN, LAMP, Angular, React, jQuery, NFAs, DFAs, L-Grammars, Java, Ruby, HTML/CSS.
I was skeptical at first, but when I learned mercenaries come loaded with standard issue GNU Emacs, I felt easy letting them patrol my data centers. I've not had any server downtime from my competitors' paramilitary groups since hiring AWM. Highly recommend!
You might think a product manager has no need for mercenaries. You'd be wrong. Richard and his platoon has cleared kept me alive so I could evangelize our product offering in hostile planets. Our bottom line has never been healthier!
We eat all the cookies at bake sales. Why? Because they're delicious.
When we're not eating all the baked goods in the office, we plant things. We're not a green washed company. We reforest entire planets.
Take your civilization to the next level. All equipment, training, and personnel to safely expand beyond your first homeworld. Includes geoplanetary political guidance tutorials, bio-supporting mothercrafts, and time-share on advanced technology to terraform planets. Includes basic threat neutralization.
Get exclusive time-share on drones, nanobots, cyborgs, and automated exoplanet nuclear facilities which all come with easy to use apps. Don't want to use apps? We have an api. Comes with trillions of AI assistants to help you make the best use of hardware, software, and bioware.
Get the entire kit-kaboodle including all features of Basic and Plus. Real-time protection in other timelines from The Hero. This lifetime plan follows wherever you go. Enjoy in unlimited deployments forever!
