Supercommunicators, Book Club

By jwow ⋅ ⋅ untagged

I've found others interested in the art of human connection and pitched the idea of doing a book club on Supercommunicators with me. Success!

I've been a fan of Charles Duhigg's work since I read The Power of Habit over ten years ago, back when I first started reading about how to get more done.

I already read the book, and now I can learn from others and provide value at the same time.

Here's a 4 week agenda I made. Feel free to use it, share it, or suggest improvements!

Week 1:

83 pages

  • Prologue (pp i-xviii)
  • The Three Kinds of Conversation (pp. 1-33)
  • The What's This Really About? Conversation (pp. 35-75)

Questions for Reading Comprehension:

  • What do you hope to gain from this section?
  • What are you hoping to get out of the book and this book club?

  • What is the goal of a conversation?

  • Finish this sentence: C_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ is connection.

  • Explain in your own words the Matching Principle and how it's different than mimicking.

  • What is neural entrainment? Describe a moment in your life where you felt neurally entrained.

  • Most recently, when did you not follow Rule One and not pay attention to the conversation? What happened?

  • What did you learn from this week's reading?

Discussion topics:

  • What kind of conversation are we having now?
  • What did you learn from this week's reading?
  • I'm here because I want to be more consistent as a communicator. What about you?
  • Has anyone prepared for conversations? How did it work out?
  • Has anyone tried meetings where the cultural norm, or rule was to declared what their goal for the conversation was? How did it go?
  • Boly's creative perspective shifting impressed me. His ability to see Karl's values clearly allowed him to create a completely different argument to shift Karl's own perspective. When have you done something like this? Or do you have examples of someone else doing this?
  • Is there an upcoming conversation you want to prepare for? How will you prepare for it?

Week 2:

84 pages

  • The How Do We Feel? Conversation (pp. 77-161)

Questions for Reading Comprehension:

  • What do you hope to gain from this section?

  • Why did Epley stop drinking?

  • What 3 questions Epley ask the hedge fund managers to share?

  • How would you apply learnings from the Fast Friends Procedure to a non-laboratory social setting?

  • What role does vulnerability play in connecting with others?

  • How quickly can strangers connect?

  • Convert the following questions into deep questions, or describe how you would lead into a deep question:
    • Do you like movies?

    • What did you do this weekend?

    • Where do you work?

  • How did McGuire select astronauts? What Supercommunicator principles did he follow?

  • How did writers of The Big Bang Theory end up having actors communicate emotions to an audience?

  • Name a conflict in your life. Why were you fighting? State its surface issue as well as the emotional conflict.

  • Reflect upon a time someone really connected with you. Did you loop for understanding?

  • What does controlling a conflict's boundaries mean to you?

  • What did you learn?

Discussion topics:

  • What did you learn?
  • What (new) ways do you want to bring the power of questions into your life?
  • I don't feel like Epley's experiment with hedge fund managers would make me feel more connected to other hedge fund managers. What about other people?
  • Tell me about how you handled a conflict recently. What did you do?
  • Does anyone have a conflict with people they care about and disagree with?
  • Has anyone calmed a storm by looping for understanding in an online forum? Or something close? How did you do it?

Week 3:

65 pages

  • The Who Are We? Conversation (pp. 169-234)

Questions for Reading Comprehension:

  • What do you hope to gain from this section?

  • In your own words, what is stereotype threat? Do you face this? What's a strategy you might use to mitigate stereotype threat?

  • What is the contact hypothesis?

  • How can you draw out multiple identities?

  • How does this chapter tie into what you know already about communicating during amidst conflict?

  • What does a Who Are We? Conversation look like? How do you know it succeeded?

  • Define motivational interviewing. Where else did the book mention this concept?

  • What is identity threat? How did this impact the culture at Netflix?

  • Think about a hard conversation you've had. What obstacles did you face? What can you do to overcome those obstacles in a similar conversation in the future?

  • How can you use the guidelines to help people you care about have an important conversations?

  • What did you learn?

Discussion topics:

  • What did you learn?
  • I'm really impressed with Chamie's ability to sway one of her patients. I'm also very surprised at Salma Mousa's experiment. What did you feel when reading those passages?
  • Are you trying to persuade someone currently? How can you use a Who Are We? conversation to help?

Week 4:

Free discussion; No pages, meet to talk about implementation and results or seek advice.

Solidifying understanding with review:

Discussion topics:

  • How is implementation going?
  • What other tactics do you use to connect with others that weren't mentioned?
  • What is your favorite way to connect with someone?
  • What did you disagree with in the book? Why?